Bloggerin erzählt: "So ist Sex als Plus-Size-Frau wirklich"

Frauen mit Kurven haben nur im Dunklen Sex? Blödinn, sagt Bloggerin Cheyenne und macht allen Plus-Size-Frauen Mut.


Wie haben sehr kurvige Frauen eigentlich Sex? Licht aus, T-Shirt an und nur mit ganz viel Hemmungen? Solche Klischees sind in vielen Köpfen verankert.

Auf manche Frauen mag das zutreffen. Bloggerin Cheyenne schreibt darüber, dass das aber keinesfalls so sein muss – und sollte.

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If you’re fat, you’re typically denied sexuality altogether or it’s forced on you in the form of a fetish. People assume you have sex with a shirt on and the lights off, which is true for some of us. I was so afraid of what I would look like to someone performing cunnilingus, I wouldn’t engage in it. We contort our bodies, hide under covers, or refuse positions because God forbid our partner see we have a belly. Here’s the thing. We aren’t fooling anyone. Our partners know what we look like, and they want to have sex with us. Not in spite of our looks, but because our appearance is attractive! Embracing nudity helped me understand this. By taking selfies, lounging, and sleeping completely nude, I grew comfortable enough to share my nakedness with others. Your soft belly, jiggly hips, dimpled thighs are beautiful and sexy. That muffin top you once hid? It should be unleashed in all its glory during sex! Anyone who is disrespectful of that doesn’t deserve sex with you. Don’t waste yourself on someone who doesn’t honor your body the way it deserves. There are plenty of people who would love to worship your body and enjoy every inch of you! We all worry about not being skilled or flexible enough, but sex for anyone comes with its challenges. Not all positions work, and that’s okay! There are always alternatives. Just do a quick google search, and try out some new stuff. Also, firm pillows and lubricant can be quite helpful 😉 For a comprehensive guide, read “Big Big Love Revised: A Sex and Relationships Guide for People of Size (and Those Who Love Them)” Sex can resurrect every insecurity we have, but it doesn’t have to. By openly discussing our needs, embracing our naked bodies, and choosing the right partner, we’re enabling ourselves to finally have fun, satisfying sex. Our bodies have amazing capabilities to give and receive pleasure, and no matter what your fat content is, you deserve to enjoy that pleasure. So, whether you’re a svelte tigress or a voluptuous vixen, you are allowed to have all the unapologetic, unbridled sex you want! How are you taking back your sexuality? What works for you and what advice can you offer? 💭

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In ihrem Post schreibt sie:

"Wenn du dick bist, dann spricht man dir Sexualität ab. Andere denken, das ginge nur mit Menschen, die einen Fetisch haben."

Auch Cheyenne selbst habe Komplexe gehabt und sich etwa gefragt, wie es wohl für den Partner beim Cunnilingus ist.

"Wir verdrehen unseren Körper, verstecken ihn oder probieren bestimmte Stellungen nicht aus, weil der Freund nicht den Bauch sehen soll."

Alles Quatsch, findet Cheyenne.

"Unsere Partner wissen, wie wir aussehen und sie wollen Sex mit uns haben. [...] Weil wir sexy sind!"

Cheyenne trainiert sich Selbstbewusstsein an, indem sie Selfies von sich macht oder komplett nackt schläft. Auf ihrem Instagram-Account postet sie regelmäßig Mut machende Statements zum Thema Liebe, Plus-Size und Körperkult.

"Dein weicher Bauch, deine fülligen Hüften und deine Orangenhaut am Oberschenkel sind sexy! Der Muffin-Top, den du immer versteckst? Er sollte während des Sex in all seiner Pracht entfesselt werden. Jeder, der keinen Respekt zeigt, hat keinen Sex mit dir verdient!"

Und weiter schreibt Cheyenne:

"Wenn wir offen unsere Wünschen kommunizieren, unsere nackten Körper umarmen und den richtigen Partner auswählen, dann können wir sehr erfüllenden Sex haben. Unsere Körper sind in der Lage, sehr viel Freude zu geben und zu empfangen"

Du willst noch mehr von Cheyenne lesen? In diesem Post schreibt sie beispielsweise ganz offen über ihre Bisexualität. Wir müssen sagen: Hut ab, Cheyenne. Du bist ein Vorbild für viele Frauen!

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I’m officially coming out.. Monogamy and heterosexuality are often equated with decency. If someone isn’t one (or either) of those, they’re made to feel wrong, deviant, and disgraceful. I have always struggled with guilt. When I tried to tell my friends I’m not straight/monogamous, they would say I was making up an excuse to be a slut. I internalized these words, and they scarred my heart. I felt incredibly isolated and misunderstood. My partners would initially be okay with having an open relationship, but eventually they felt threatened by my capacity to love multiple people at once. They would question why they weren’t enough. It broke my heart. I hated being the cause of someone else’s insecurity. I was ashamed and confused. So, I tried to change. I tried to conform. I wanted to please everyone, so I played the role they cast me.. But nothing changed. No matter how I acted, I couldn’t change what was deeply ingrained in my identity. I am not attracted to just one person, and I’m not attracted to just one gender. This comes with a heavy stigma. There is very limited representation for people like me. We are complex and diverse, yet the general perception of non-monogamy is pretty limited. People assume you cheat and label you as a slut. They think since you can be attracted to anyone, you must be attracted to everyone. In their eyes, you’re uncontrollable, raunchy, and immoral. To anyone who can relate to this: You are not morally inferior. You’re not greedy. You are not broken. Your feelings are real and valid. Your feelings aren’t unnatural or wrong. You are not the only one like this. 💖💚💙 I am in tears even as I write this. I'm still healing. My journey to acceptance isn’t complete, but I’m ready to no longer be burdened with this. I am not a secret to be kept. Heterosexual/monogamous people often take for granted how much freedom they’re given. For anyone outside of those identifiers, claiming even a fraction of that freedom is a radical act of bravery. So, here I am claiming my freedom. I am polysexual and polyamorous, and I am proud.

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Bloggerin erzählt: "So ist Sex als Plus-Size-Frau wirklich"

Frauen mit Kurven haben nur im Dunklen Sex? Blödinn, sagt Bloggerin Cheyenne und macht allen Plus-Size-Frauen Mut.

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